It all happened in a blink. Precious years flashed by and blasted me out to this moment. It is the moment when you realize your little girl is no longer little; she is almost woman. Full grown and pretty, wishing she wasn’t so very.

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage” Anais Nin

My teen is visiting for the weekend and these visits feel bittersweet. This year marked the first year in her life she mustered up the courage to move all the way to Austin and take up residence with her dad, his partner (lady), her sister, stepbrother and three dogs. Change has not been easy. She went from living with me; where the world revolved around what she needed, wanted, or desired to a houseFULL of voices clamoring to be heard. Change is good. This change has given us both renewed perspective and appreciation for each other. I am surprised and inspired by some of the revelations she shared with me.

People are who they are, no sense in trying to fight it
When expectations meet reality, sometimes you choose to see the reality and don’t get caught in illusions that were created. There were many stories she told me about friends and family that illustrated how she came to this realization.

Pretty is a dirty word
Everyone at school would be surprised to know I am just a normal girl. When you are pretty people have this expectation that you are this GIANT person when you are just you. I am just me; it is not about how I look.

Boys with small penises have BIG bravado
I liked this boy. He was really funny and cool and then he became an asshole. The gossip around school is he has a small penis. “Mommy what do you think”. “Yeah he probably has a small penis”.

Being a virgin is a big cross to bear at my school
Girls go around bragging about having sex with all these people and all I can think is you are just giving yourself away. I have made it clear I am a virgin and proud of it. Why do people brag about have sex with everyone? That is just gross and it is like they are just trash. Not like trailer park but like garbage. I have way too much respect and love for myself. Yeah I am a virgin and no it doesn’t bother me.

The world doesn’t revolve around me
I realized that I took things for granted when I lived with you. I expected things that in my life now, I know are over the top. I have learned to appreciate the little things life has to offer.

Environment changes everything
If people have lazy energy, I feel like sleeping all the time. Once I am out of that environment and blasted in the world I am full of energy. Maybe this is about survival; all I know is when I go inside all my energy is sucked out of my body.

Happiness is a choice
At school I smile all the time. The sun shines on me. They call me sunny. It is easier to just let things slide off your back than get caught up in drama and hatefulness. I genuinely like people.

Her candor and openness impresses me. I love how she is growing up with her heart and mind open. She is no longer that sweet little girl I always see in my minds eye; she is becoming this fantastic, amazing woman. Sometimes the hardest choices we make provide us with clarity we would have never known otherwise. My nest is currently empty but my heart is full.

4 Responses to “Empty Nest Full Heart”

1. loripop326 says:

   04/03/2010 at 7:40 pm

   I just love this post. Very wise words from one very smart young lady. Thank you so much for sharing this with the world. I know many people a lot older that could learn a lot from your daughter. You must be incredibly proud!
2. stealingkitty says:

   04/03/2010 at 7:45 pm

   Thank you. I am so proud of her. Mostly I love that her heart and mind as open. She is amazing.
3. loripop326 says:

   04/03/2010 at 8:40 pm

   I just love this post. Very wise words from one very smart young lady. Thank you so much for sharing this with the world. I know many people a lot older that could learn a lot from your daughter. You must be incredibly proud!
4. stealingkitty says:

   04/03/2010 at 8:45 pm

   Thank you. I am so proud of her. Mostly I love that her heart and mind as open. She is amazing.